Young adults (about 18–29)

Your twenties are often sold as the best years of your life. For many people they are also some of the loneliest. If that is you, you are in large company, and it is not a sign that you are failing at life.

You are not the only one

Surveys keep finding that young adults report a lot of loneliness. In a global Meta-Gallup survey, 27%Adults aged 19 to 29 worldwide who feel very or fairly lonely (Meta-Gallup, 142 countries)As of October 24, 2023.Survey fielded June 2022 to February 2023. Young adults reported the highest rate of any age group.Source: Gallup: Almost a Quarter of the World Feels Lonely of adults aged 19 to 29 said they felt very or fairly lonely, more than any other age group. In a smaller 2020 U.S. survey during the pandemic, Harvard researchers found 61%U.S. young adults aged 18 to 25 reporting serious loneliness (Harvard, October 2020 survey)As of February 9, 2021.A small online survey taken during the pandemic; the authors call the data preliminary.Source: Harvard Making Caring Common: Loneliness in America of 18- to 25-year-olds reported serious loneliness. And Gallup found 25%U.S. men aged 15 to 34 who felt lonely a lot of the previous day (Gallup, 2023–2024)As of May 20, 2025.Compared with 18% of all U.S. adults and 18% of young women.Source: Gallup: Younger Men in the U.S. Among the Loneliest in West of young U.S. men felt lonely a lot of the day before.

Why this stage is hard

• School ends. For years, school handed you a ready-made group of people your age. After graduation, that structure disappears overnight.
• Friends scatter. People move for jobs, school, partners or cheaper rent. Group chats go quiet.
• Moving for work. You may land in a city where you know no one, working long hours, too tired to go out.
• Money. Rent, debt and low starting pay make it hard to say yes to dinners, trips and concerts.
• Dating. Apps can feel like a second job, and rejection piles up. See Dating apps.
• Comparison. Social media makes it look like everyone else has a partner, a career and a big friend group. Many of them feel the same way you do.
• Remote or shift work. Fewer coworkers to chat with, or a schedule that's opposite to everyone else's. See Remote work, night shifts and long hours.

What helps

Build "repeat" into your week

Adult friendships rarely come from one great conversation. They come from seeing the same people over and over in a relaxed setting. Choose things that meet weekly:

• A rec sports league, running club or climbing gym
• A class (cooking, pottery, a language, improv) at a community center or community college
• A volunteer shift at the same place each week
• A board game night, trivia team or book club at a library or café
• A faith community's young adult group, if that fits you

More ideas, including free ones, are in Groups, hobbies, classes and clubs and Neighbors, libraries, cafés and "third places".

Be the one who invites

Most people are waiting for someone else to make plans. You can be that person. It doesn't have to be fancy.

• "I'm going to the free concert in the park Saturday. Want to come?"
• "Want to grab a coffee after class next week?"

If someone says no, try once more another time. A "no" is usually about their schedule, not about you.

Keep old friends on purpose

Friendships from school can last, but only with some effort. Set a monthly video call, start a shared photo thread, or plan one visit a year. See Reconnecting with family and old friends.

Social life on a small budget

• Potlucks instead of restaurant dinners
• Walks, hikes, free museum days and library events
• Hosting a movie or game night at home
• Volunteering, which is free and puts you next to people who care about the same things

Watch the comparison trap

If scrolling leaves you feeling behind, mute accounts, set app time limits, or take a weekend off. Use your phone to reach out to people, not just to watch them. See Social media: what helps and what hurts.

Things to avoid

• Waiting until you feel ready. Confidence usually comes after you show up, not before.
• Using alcohol to get through social events. It can become a habit fast. If you're worried about drinking, see Alcohol, drugs and loneliness.
• Expecting a friend group in a month. One study of adults found it took more than 200 hoursTime together it took to become close friends, in one study of adults (Hall, University of Kansas, 2018)As of March 28, 2018.The same study found roughly 50 hours to become casual friends.Source: University of Kansas: Study reveals number of hours it takes to make a friend together to become close friends. Give it a season.

When to get more help

If loneliness comes with feeling hopeless, numb, or unable to get out of bed, it may be depression or anxiety, and both are treatable. See Depression and loneliness and Getting help for free and low-cost options.

For more on meeting people, see Making friends as an adult. If you're in college or grad school, see Students and graduates.