Bars, clubs and meetup places: pros, cons and how

Going out alone can feel brave and a little scary. Many people worry they'll look lonely or have no one to talk to. In practice, plenty of people go out alone, and many places are set up to make it easy.

This page covers different kinds of places, the good and bad of each, and how to go alone without drinking more than you want to.

Places to try

Bars and pubs

• Good for: Neighborhood bars with regulars, sitting at the bar, chatting with bartenders. Many have events like trivia, open mic, live music or sports on TV.
• Harder: Loud, crowded weekend nights. Drinking can become the main activity. Costs add up.

Clubs and live music

• Good for: Dancing, music you love, energy.
• Harder: Too loud to talk, late nights, more alcohol and drugs, and a higher risk of drink spiking. Better with a friend or a group.

Coffee shops and cafés

• Good for: Low pressure, daytime, cheap. Becoming a regular. Some host board games, book swaps or community boards. See Neighbors and third places.
• Harder: Many people sit alone with headphones and laptops, so starting a chat takes a bit more effort.

Trivia and quiz nights

• Good for: A built-in reason to talk. Many teams welcome an extra player; ask the host if any team needs one. Same night every week.
• Harder: Usually held in bars, though not always.

Karaoke

• Good for: Cheering for strangers, laughing, a friendly crowd at the regular nights. You don't have to sing.
• Harder: Can feel exposing if you're shy. Often late.

Dance classes

• Good for: Partner dances like salsa, swing or line dancing often rotate partners, so you meet everyone. Beginners are expected. Many classes don't need a partner.
• Harder: Costs per class; the first night can feel awkward.

Run, walk and cycling clubs

• Good for: Free or cheap, outdoors, same time each week, all levels in many clubs, and often coffee or breakfast afterward. Running stores often host them.
• Harder: Early mornings, and some groups are fast. Ask about pace before you go.

Board-game cafés and game nights

• Good for: Staff often teach games and some host open-play nights where you join a table. Good for people who prefer a shared activity to small talk.
• Harder: Table fees; some nights are mostly for groups who already know each other.

Sober bars and alcohol-free events

• Good for: The same social feel without the pressure to drink. Many cities now have alcohol-free bars, "sober curious" events, alcohol-free dance parties and coffee raves. Many regular bars now serve good alcohol-free drinks.
• Harder: Fewer of them, mainly in bigger cities.

You're in good company if you don't drink: only 54%U.S. adults who say they drink alcohol at all (Gallup, July 2026)As of August 20, 2026.The lowest in Gallup's records going back to 1939. So almost half of adults don't drink.Source: Gallup: Americans' Drinking Remains at Record Low of U.S. adults say they drink alcohol at all, the lowest in Gallup's records.

How to go alone

Things that help:

• Sit at the bar or counter, not a table. Bartenders and people at the bar are more open to chat.
• Become a regular. Same place, same night, every week. After a few visits, people start to nod, then talk.
• Join an activity so the talk has a focus: a quiz, a class, a game, a club.
• Talk to staff. Bartenders, baristas and hosts know the regulars and can introduce you. Learn their names and tip if you can.
• Have an easy opener. "Is this your usual spot?" "How does this trivia work?" "What are you drinking? It looks good."
• Bring a small prop if it helps, like a book or crossword. It gives you something to do and starts conversations.
• Set a time limit. "I'll stay one hour." Leaving on time feels like a success, not a failure.

Things to avoid:

• Drinking to get brave. It may help for an hour, but it often leads to regret, poor sleep and low mood the next day. Order a soft drink between drinks, or skip alcohol completely.
• Pestering people. If someone gives short answers, turns away or puts headphones on, smile and leave them be. Most people are friendly, but not everyone wants to talk tonight.
• Expecting a friend on night one. Think of the first few visits as just being in the room.
• Driving after drinking. Plan your ride home before you go.

If you notice you're going out mainly to drink, or drinking more when you feel alone, see Alcohol, drugs and loneliness. If going out feels impossible because of anxiety, see Social anxiety and shyness.

Staying safe

Go with a plan:

• Charge your phone and know how you'll get home before you leave.
• Tell someone where you're going and when you expect to be back.
• Keep enough money or a ride app ready for the trip home.
• Eat before drinking, and know your limit.

Drink spiking:

Drink spiking is when someone puts alcohol or drugs in your drink without you knowing. Some drugs have no taste, color or smell. It can happen to anyone, of any gender.

• Watch your drink. Don't leave it unattended. If you lose sight of it, get a new one.
• Take drinks only from the bartender or server, or watch them being poured.
• Watch out for friends' drinks too.

Warning signs include feeling far drunker than you should for what you drank, sudden dizziness, confusion, nausea, trouble moving or speaking, or memory gaps.

If you think you or someone else was spiked:

• Tell a friend, the bartender or security right away. Stay with someone you trust.
• Don't leave with a stranger, and don't go home alone.
• If someone is very sick, can't stay awake or is struggling to breathe, call 911.
• Get medical help as soon as you can, and ask about testing.
• If you think you were sexually assaulted, you can get confidential support 24/7 from the National Sexual Assault Hotline (run by RAINN) at 800-656-4673 or by texting HOPE to 64673. You decide whether to report to police.

If you see someone in trouble: you can help without confronting anyone. Ask the person if they're OK, create a distraction, or tell staff or security.