Sleep, food and movement

Loneliness is a feeling, but it lives in a body. When you sleep badly, sit all day, skip meals and rarely see daylight, everything feels harder, including reaching out to people. The good news: small changes in the body can make the social side a little easier.

None of this means loneliness is your fault, or that a walk will fix it. These are supports, not cures. Pick one thing; don't try to change everything at once.

Sleep and loneliness

Sleep and loneliness affect each other.

• Loneliness can disturb sleep. Feeling alone can keep the mind on alert, so sleep is lighter and more broken.
• Poor sleep can make you pull away. In a 2018 study at the University of California, Berkeley, after a night without sleep, people wanted more distance from others, and others rated them as lonelier. The researchers suggested this can start a cycle of withdrawal.

Most adults aged 18 to 60 need 7 or more hoursSleep most adults aged 18 to 60 need each night (CDC)As of May 15, 2024.CDC lists 7–9 hours for ages 61–64 and 7–8 hours for ages 65 and older.Source: CDC: About Sleep of sleep a night.

Try:

• Get up at about the same time every day, even on weekends.
• Get daylight in the morning, and keep evenings dim.
• Keep screens out of bed. Charge your phone in another room if you can.
• Cut caffeine after midday and go easy on alcohol, which breaks up sleep.
• If lonely thoughts keep you awake, write them down, then set the page aside for tomorrow.
• If you can't sleep after about 20 minutes, get up and do something quiet in low light until you feel sleepy.

If you snore loudly, stop breathing in your sleep, or have trouble sleeping most nights for weeks, talk to a doctor. Don't start or stop sleep medicines without talking to your doctor or pharmacist.

Movement: good for mood, good for meeting people

Exercise does two jobs at once.

It helps mood. A large 2024 review of studies found that walking or jogging, yoga and strength training all helped people with depression. You don't need a gym. For general health, adults are advised to get about 150 minutesModerate-intensity physical activity adults need each week (CDC)As of December 20, 2023.For example, a brisk 30-minute walk on 5 days. Plus muscle-strengthening activity on 2 days. Any amount is better than none.Source: CDC: Adult Activity, An Overview of moderate activity a week, like brisk walking, but any amount is better than none.

It brings you near people. Moving with others is one of the easiest ways to be social, because the activity gives you something to do and talk about.

• parkrun holds free, weekly, timed 5 km (3.1 mile) events on Saturday mornings in parks in many countries, including the U.S. You can run, jog or walk at your own pace, or volunteer. You register once online for free. parkrun.com (opens in a new tab)
• Walking groups meet through community centers, libraries, senior centers, parks departments, faith communities and health clinics. Many are free.
• Classes at community centers and YMCAs, or free classes in parks, often in summer.
• Team and club sports, from adult leagues to pickleball, bowling or tai chi.
• Dog walking. Dogs start conversations. If you don't have a dog, shelters often need volunteer walkers. See Pets and animals.
• Gardening in a community garden.

If you have a disability or health condition, ask your doctor what kind of movement is right for you. Chair exercises, water exercise and short walks all count.

See Groups, hobbies, classes and clubs and Nature and the outdoors.

Eating alone and eating together

Many people eat most meals alone, and that's fine. But meals can easily slide into snacking at the counter or skipping food entirely, which affects energy and mood.

When you eat alone:

• Sit down at a table, and set a place for yourself.
• Cook something simple you enjoy. Making a bit extra means a ready meal tomorrow, or something to share.
• Put on music, a podcast or call someone while you eat.
• Eat regular meals. Long gaps can make mood and energy drop.
• Fruits, vegetables, beans, whole grains and fish support general health. Do what you can with what you have.

Ways to eat with others:

• Invite a neighbor or coworker for a simple meal or coffee. It doesn't have to be fancy.
• Community meals at faith communities, senior centers and community centers welcome everyone. Many are free or low-cost.
• Potlucks, supper clubs, cooking classes.
• A video call meal with a friend or relative far away.
• Start something: see Start something: a group, a dinner, a club.

If food is a struggle because of money, see Money worries, job loss and low income. If eating feels out of control, or you restrict or purge, see Living with a mental health condition.

Sunlight and time outside

Daylight helps set your body clock, which helps sleep and mood. Time outdoors, especially in green spaces, also tends to put you near other people.

• Get outside in the morning when you can, even on cloudy days.
• Sit by a window if going out is hard.
• In dark winter months, some people's mood drops a lot. If that happens to you every year, talk to a doctor; there are treatments that help.

A simple daily rhythm

1. Get up at a regular time.
2. Get daylight and move a little.
3. Eat regular meals, and share one now and then.
4. Have one small contact with someone.
5. Wind down with screens off before bed.

When to see a doctor

See a doctor if you're always tired, can't sleep most nights, have lost or gained a lot of weight without trying, or feel low most days. Physical problems, like thyroid issues or anemia, can cause some of the same feelings. See Getting help and Depression and loneliness.