Alcohol, drugs and loneliness

A drink after a long, empty day. A few more to fall asleep. Something to take the edge off before seeing people, or instead of seeing them. Many people who feel alone use alcohol or drugs to cope. It makes sense: they can bring quick relief. But over time, they often make loneliness worse.

This page is not here to judge you. It's here to help you see what's going on and find options that fit you.

How it can backfire

• It numbs feelings for a while, then they return, often stronger. Alcohol is a depressant, and heavy use is linked to worse mood and anxiety.
• It disturbs sleep. You may fall asleep faster, but the sleep is poorer. Tired days make reaching out harder.
• It can replace people. The bottle or the high becomes the main company. Plans get dropped.
• It can strain relationships. Broken promises, arguments, shame and hiding all push people away.
• It shrinks your world to places and people that revolve around using.
• Shame keeps it secret, and secrecy is lonely.

You are not alone in this. In the U.S., about 27.1 millionU.S. adults with alcohol use disorder in the past year (2024)As of December 31, 2024.About 10.3% of adults aged 18 and older.Source: NIAAA: Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) in the United States (from SAMHSA's 2024 National Survey on Drug Use and Health) adults had alcohol use disorder in one recent year.

Signs it may be a problem

Ask yourself honestly. In the past year, have you:

• Drunk or used more, or for longer, than you meant to?
• Wanted to cut down but couldn't?
• Needed more to get the same effect?
• Felt strong cravings?
• Missed work, school or family duties because of it?
• Kept going even though it caused problems with people you care about?
• Given up activities you used to enjoy?
• Felt shaky, sweaty, sick, anxious or unable to sleep when it wore off?
• Used it to face people, or to avoid them?

If you answered yes to two or more, it is worth talking to a doctor or calling a helpline. This list can't diagnose you, but it can help you start a conversation.

Safer steps, whatever you decide

Harm reduction means lowering risk, even if you aren't ready to stop.

• Don't use alone, especially opioids or unknown pills. If you do, tell someone you trust.
• Carry naloxone (Narcan and other brands) if you or anyone around you uses opioids. It can reverse an overdose. In the U.S., naloxone nasal spray is sold over the counter without a prescription, and some health departments and community groups give it out free.
• Don't mix alcohol with opioids, sleeping pills or anti-anxiety medicines.
• Set limits before you start. Decide how much, count drinks, and have water in between.
• Plan alcohol-free days each week.
• Notice your triggers. Is it evenings alone? Sundays? After calls with family? Plan something else for those times.

Recovery communities

Recovery groups are free or nearly free, and they offer something many people need most: other people who understand. Many meet in person and online, so you can go to a meeting from home, at almost any hour. See also Support groups and peer support.

They differ in approach. There is no "best" one. Many people try a few.

• Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is the oldest and largest. It follows a 12-step program and talks about a "higher power" that each member defines for themselves. Find meetings at aa.org (opens in a new tab) or through the free Meeting Guide app.
• Narcotics Anonymous (NA) uses the 12 steps for addiction to any drug. Find meetings at na.org (opens in a new tab) or in its NA Meeting Search app.
• SMART Recovery is a free, secular program led by trained facilitators. It uses tools based on motivational and cognitive behavioral methods, and covers substances and behaviors like gambling. It also has groups for family and friends. smartrecovery.org (opens in a new tab)
• Recovery Dharma is a peer-led community that uses Buddhist-inspired practices, such as meditation, for recovery from substances and behaviors. You don't need to be Buddhist. A smaller number of groups meet under the earlier name Refuge Recovery, which is now a separate organization. recoverydharma.org (opens in a new tab)
• LifeRing Secular Recovery is a secular, abstinence-based peer group focused on sobriety and self-empowerment, with meetings, online groups and peer matching. lifering.org (opens in a new tab)
• Celebrate Recovery is a Christ-centered, Bible-based program for "hurts, habits and hang-ups", usually hosted by local churches. Many attendees come for issues other than alcohol or drugs. celebraterecovery.com (opens in a new tab)

Faith communities of many kinds also host recovery groups. See Religious and spiritual communities.

Getting professional help

• SAMHSA's National Helpline: 1-800-662-4357 (TTY 1-800-487-4889). Free, confidential, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, in English and Spanish. It gives referrals to local treatment, support groups and state-funded programs. It does not provide counseling.
• FindTreatment.gov is a confidential U.S. government directory of licensed treatment programs. You can filter by location, type of care and payment, including free or low-cost options.
• Your doctor can help you stop safely and may suggest medicines that reduce cravings. Some are approved for alcohol and opioid use disorders.
• See Getting help for low-cost counseling.

Building a social life that doesn't revolve around drinking

You can have fun, meet people and feel close without alcohol. A growing number of people are cutting back or quitting, sometimes called being "sober curious".

• Meet for coffee, breakfast, a walk or a class instead of drinks.
• Look for alcohol-free events, sober social groups and alcohol-free bars in your area.
• Try activities with built-in company: sports, choirs, volunteering, faith groups, game nights. See Groups, hobbies, classes and clubs.
• At a party, hold a soft drink or alcohol-free drink. A simple "I'm not drinking tonight" is enough.
• If bars are your main social place, see Bars, clubs and meetup places for ways to enjoy them without drinking.

If you love someone who drinks or uses

You can't make someone change, and it isn't your fault. Al-Anon and SMART Recovery Family & Friends are two places that support people affected by someone else's drinking or drug use. Take care of yourself too. See When someone you know is lonely.