Start something: a group, a dinner, a club

If you've been waiting for someone to invite you, here's a secret: lots of other people are waiting too. Starting something small is one of the most powerful ways to beat loneliness, for yourself and for others. You don't need to be outgoing, popular or a natural host. You need a simple idea and the willingness to show up again next time.

Friendships usually grow from seeing the same people again and again. Research by Jeffrey Hall at the University of Kansas suggests it takes dozens of hours together to go from acquaintance to friend. A regular group gives you those hours without anyone having to plan each one.

Ideas that work

Dinner club or potluck

• Meet once a month, at a home, a park shelter or a community room.
• Potluck keeps costs low: everyone brings one dish. Say clearly that store-bought is welcome.
• Rotate hosts if people want to, but don't require it. Small homes and tight budgets are fine.
• Give it a theme now and then: soup night, a dish from your childhood, breakfast for dinner.

Walking group

• Choose a fixed time, a safe route, and a meeting spot.
• Go at the pace of the slowest walker. Say so in the invitation.
• Walking side by side makes talking easier for shy people.
• Add a coffee afterward for those who want it.

Book club

• Meet monthly at a library, café or home. Many libraries have free rooms and can help you get copies.
• Choose shorter books, or let people come even if they haven't finished.
• Try a "read anything" club where people share what they're reading.

Neighborhood potluck or "porch hour"

• A "porch hour" is simple: once a week, at the same time, you sit out on your porch, stoop, yard or building lobby with a pot of tea or a cooler, and neighbors are welcome to stop by.
• A once-a-year block potluck can break the ice; a regular porch hour keeps it going.
• Put a friendly note in mailboxes or on the building board. Check any rules for using shared spaces.

Game night

• Board games, cards, trivia or puzzles give people something to do with their hands and an easy reason to talk.
• Keep a few simple games that are easy to learn in five minutes.
• Libraries, cafés and community centers often have space.

A men's shed

A men's shed is a community workshop and social club. People meet to build, fix and make things, learn skills and talk, with no pressure. The idea began in Australia. Many sheds welcome women, and some are community sheds open to all. The Australian Men's Shed Association counts more than 2,500 in 12 countriesMen's sheds worldwide (Australian Men's Shed Association)As of October 9, 2026.As stated on the association's website in October 2026.Source: Australian Men's Shed Association.

• U.S.: the US Men's Sheds Association (opens in a new tab) has a "find a shed" page and help for starting one.
• UK: the UK Men's Sheds Association (opens in a new tab) helps you find a local shed or start a new one.
• Australia: the Australian Men's Shed Association (opens in a new tab) supports more than 1,300Men's and community sheds supported by the Australian Men's Shed AssociationAs of October 9, 2026.As stated on the association's website in October 2026.Source: Australian Men's Shed Association sheds and has a postcode search.

Many men find it easier to connect "shoulder to shoulder", working on something together, than "face to face". A shed builds on that.

Other ideas

• A morning coffee group at the same café table each week.
• A craft circle, a choir, a gardening group, a fishing morning.
• A "skills swap": one person teaches knitting, another bike repair.
• An online group for people who can't get out, on a regular video call.

Simple steps to start

1. Choose one simple activity that you'd enjoy even if only two people come.
2. Pick a regular time and place. Same day, same time, every week or month. Regularity beats excitement.
3. Make it free or very cheap, and easy to reach on foot, by bus, or with wheelchair access.
4. Invite a few people personally. A direct "I'm starting this and I'd love you to come" works far better than a general post. Then add a notice at the library, place of worship, community board or neighborhood group.
5. Find one co-organizer so it doesn't all rest on you, and so it continues if you're sick.
6. Keep a simple contact list, with permission, and send a reminder a day or two before.
7. Show up every time, even if attendance is low at first. Groups often take a few months to grow.

Make everyone feel welcome

The best groups are easy to walk into.

• Greet every newcomer by name and introduce them to one or two people.
• Say what to expect in the invitation: how long it lasts, what to bring, whether there's alcohol, whether kids or dogs are welcome.
• Think about cost. Avoid expensive venues. Never make anyone feel bad for not bringing food or money.
• Think about access: step-free entry, seating, quiet corners, bathrooms, lighting, and a time that suits people who work shifts or care for others.
• Watch for cliques. Mix up seating, and rotate who leads activities.
• Respect different backgrounds, beliefs, ages and abilities. Keep the focus on the shared activity, not on politics or religion, unless that's the group's purpose.
• Welcome quiet people. Not everyone wants to talk much. Being there counts.
• Make it safe. Meet in public places at first. Have a simple rule that unkind or unsafe behavior isn't OK.

If nobody comes

It happens to almost every organizer at some point. It doesn't mean the idea is bad, or that you are. Try a different time, ask people directly what would suit them, or join forces with an existing group. And give yourself credit: you tried something brave.

For more ideas, see Groups, hobbies, classes and clubs and Neighbors, libraries, cafés and "third places".