Support groups and peer support

Some loneliness comes from going through something that the people around you don't understand. A peer support group brings together people who have lived through the same thing. Many people say the biggest relief is hearing someone else describe exactly what they've felt.

How support groups work

• Peer-led or professionally led. Most peer groups are run by trained volunteers who have been through the same experience. Some groups, often at hospitals or hospices, are led by counselors or social workers.
• Regular meetings. Usually weekly, every other week or monthly, often for 60 to 90 minutes.
• Sharing and listening. People take turns talking about how they're doing. You can always pass and just listen.
• Ground rules. Most groups ask that what's said in the room stays there, and that people don't give each other advice unless asked.
• Usually free. Many groups are free or ask for an optional small donation.

A support group is not therapy, and it is not emergency help. But many people use both a group and a counselor. See Getting help: therapy, free and low-cost options.

What the research says

Studies of peer support are mixed but encouraging. Reviews suggest that many people feel less isolated, more hopeful and more confident about coping. The evidence for medical results is less clear, and groups vary a lot in quality. If a group doesn't feel helpful or safe, try another.

Where to find a group

Mental health

• NAMI Connection (nami.org (opens in a new tab)). Free, peer-led recovery support groups for adults 18 and over living with a mental health condition. NAMI also runs family support groups. Many local NAMI groups meet online.
• Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) (dbsalliance.org (opens in a new tab)). Support groups for people living with depression or bipolar disorder, plus groups for young adults, veterans, LGBTQ+ people, parents and family members. DBSA says all its online groups are free.

Alcohol and drugs, for you or a loved one

• Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) (aa.org (opens in a new tab)). Free meetings for anyone who wants to stop drinking. A.A. includes a spiritual element, described as a "higher power" each member defines for themselves.
• SMART Recovery (smartrecovery.org (opens in a new tab)). Free meetings, in person and online, led by trained facilitators. It is secular (no religious content) and skills-based. It also has Family & Friends groups.
• Al-Anon and Alateen (al-anon.org (opens in a new tab)). For family and friends worried about someone's drinking; Alateen is for teens. Meetings are in person, online and by phone.

See also Alcohol, drugs and loneliness.

Grief

• Hospices. Many hospices run free grief groups, and some are open to anyone in the community, whether or not your loved one used hospice. Call your nearest hospice and ask.
• The Compassionate Friends (compassionatefriends.org (opens in a new tab)). For parents, grandparents and siblings after the death of a child of any age, with local chapters across the U.S. and online support.
• Faith communities often host grief groups open to all. See Religious and spiritual communities.

See also Widowed or grieving.

Illness and disability

• Hospitals and clinics. Ask your care team or a hospital social worker about groups for your condition.
• National charities for specific conditions (cancer, heart disease, diabetes, Parkinson's, multiple sclerosis and many more) often list local and online groups on their websites.

See also Disability and chronic illness.

Caregiving

• Family Caregiver Alliance (caregiver.org (opens in a new tab)). Online groups and communities for family caregivers of adults, including groups for LGBTQ+ caregivers.
• Your local Area Agency on Aging, hospital or memory care center often runs caregiver groups.

See also Caregivers.

Divorce and breakups

• Divorce recovery groups are often run by community centers, counseling centers and faith communities. Search "divorce support group" plus your town. See After a breakup or divorce.

Not sure where to start? In the U.S., call 211 and ask what support groups meet near you. See also Find help near you.

Online or in person?

Both can help. Choose what you can keep doing.

You can usually keep your camera off and use a first name only in online groups.

What to expect at a first meeting

• Someone may greet you and ask if you're new. You can say yes and that you'd like to just listen.
• The leader explains the rules, such as confidentiality.
• People take turns sharing for a few minutes each. You can pass.
• Feelings may run high. People might cry. That's okay, including you.
• It may feel strange at first. Many people say it took two or three meetings to feel at home.

Signs a group isn't right for you

• Pressure to share more than you want, or to come every day.
• Pressure to buy products, pay large fees or give personal or money details.
• Being told to stop medical treatment or medication. Talk to your doctor or pharmacist about any change.
• One person dominating, or meanness that the leader doesn't address.

It's fine to leave a group and try another one.

If you're struggling right now

A support group meets on a schedule. If you're in pain now and can't wait, please reach out today.