Phones, apps and the way we connect now

Phones and apps are now part of how almost everyone keeps in touch. They can be a lifeline: a video call with a grandchild far away, a support group for a rare illness, a friend who understands you from another country. They can also leave you feeling more alone than before you picked them up. Both are true, and this page tries to be honest about each.

What changed

Since smartphones became common around 2010, a lot has changed in a short time:

• Most people carry the internet everywhere, all day.
• Social media feeds moved from posts by friends to endless content picked by algorithms to keep you watching.
• Pew Research Center found that nearly halfU.S. teens (13 to 17) who say they are online almost constantly (Pew Research Center, 2024)As of December 12, 2024.Up from 24% about a decade earlier.Source: Pew Research Center: Teens, Social Media and Technology 2024 of U.S. teens say they are online "almost constantly", up from 24%U.S. teens who said they were online almost constantly about a decade before 2024 (Pew Research Center)As of December 12, 2024.Source: Pew Research Center: Teens, Social Media and Technology 2024 about a decade earlier.
• Over a similar period, in-person time with friends dropped. The U.S. Surgeon General's advisory reported Americans spent about 20 minutesTime Americans spent in person with friends per day, 2020 (Surgeon General, 2023)As of May 3, 2023.From American Time Use Survey data cited in the Surgeon General's advisory.Source: PBS NewsHour / AP: Loneliness poses health risks as deadly as smoking, U.S. surgeon general says (2023) a day with friends in person in 2020, down from about 60 minutesTime Americans spent in person with friends per day, about two decades before 2020 (Surgeon General, 2023)As of May 3, 2023.The advisory compares 2003 with 2020.Source: PBS NewsHour / AP: Loneliness poses health risks as deadly as smoking, U.S. surgeon general says (2023) in 2003. Phones are one likely reason among many; see Why people end up feeling alone.

The World Health Organization's 2025 report names digital technology as one of the causes of loneliness, and raises concern about too much screen time and negative online experiences for young people.

What research suggests

Passive scrolling vs. active connecting

One of the clearest findings is about how people use social media.

• Passive use, meaning scrolling and watching other people's lives without interacting, is linked to feeling worse. In a 2015 study led by Philippe Verduyn, people who were asked to use Facebook passively felt worse afterward than people asked to use it actively. In daily life, the drop in mood was explained by envy.
• Active use, meaning messaging, commenting with care, calling, making plans, tends to look better, especially when it leads to time together offline.

Cutting back can help some people

In a small 2018 University of Pennsylvania study, 143 students were asked to limit Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat to 10 minutesDaily limit per app in a University of Pennsylvania trial that cut loneliness (Hunt et al., 2018)As of November 8, 2018.143 undergraduates for three weeks, on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. A small, short study.Source: ScienceDaily: Social media use increases depression and loneliness, study finds (University of Pennsylvania, 2018) a day each for three weeks. Compared with students who used them as usual, they reported less loneliness and depression. The effect was strongest for those who felt most depressed at the start. It was a short study with one group of students, so it is a hint, not a final answer.

What is still uncertain

The debate here is real, and serious scientists disagree.

• One view. Social psychologist Jonathan Haidt, in his 2024 book The Anxious Generation, argues that smartphones, social media and the loss of free, independent play in childhood helped cause a sharp rise in anxiety, depression and loneliness among young people. He calls for phone-free schools and later ages for smartphones and social media.
• Another view. Other researchers, including psychologist Candice Odgers, argue that the evidence does not show social media causes these problems for most young people. They say the links found in many studies are small, that cause and effect are hard to separate (lonely teens may simply use phones more), that mental health problems have many genetic and life causes, and that focusing on phones could distract from those other causes.

What most researchers do agree on:

• Effects vary a lot from person to person. Some people are helped, some are harmed, many are both.
• How, when and why you use your phone matters more than total hours.
• Sleep loss, comparison, bullying and harmful content are real risks, especially for young people.
• Online contact works best as a bridge to people, not as a replacement for them.

Signs your phone use may be adding to loneliness

• You often feel worse, more envious or more left out after scrolling.
• You check your phone during time with people, and they notice.
• You stay up late on it and wake up tired.
• You "talk" to many people online but feel no one really knows you.
• You reach for your phone the moment you feel any discomfort.

Phone habits that help

Most phones have free built-in tools to see and limit your screen time (Screen Time on iPhone, Digital Wellbeing on many Android phones). If you are trying to cut back on gaming, gambling or other habits, see Screens, gaming, gambling, porn and other habits.

Using technology for connection

Technology can also be one of the best tools against loneliness, especially if you are housebound, live far from others, or find face-to-face contact hard at first.

• Social media: what helps and what hurts
• Friendship apps and online communities
• Dating apps: pros, cons and which fits whom
• Support groups and peer support, many of which meet online

Where to go next

• The loneliness trap
• Small first steps
• Lonely children and teens (for parents)