LGBTQ+ people

Many LGBTQ+ people know a particular kind of loneliness: hiding part of yourself, being rejected by people who should love you, or being the only one you know. Whether you're a teenager, newly out in midlife, or an older adult who has lost friends and partners, you deserve connection and respect.

Feeling alone because of how others have treated you is never your fault.

What can make it lonely

• Family rejection. Being pushed away, or loved only if you hide, can hurt deeply.
• Hiding. Staying in the closet at home, school, work or a place of worship can leave you feeling unseen, even among people.
• Living in a small town or rural area, with few or no other out people nearby.
• Losing community after a move, a breakup or as friends get older.
• Older age. Many older LGBTQ+ adults are less likely to have children, may be estranged from family, and may have lost many friends, including during the AIDS crisis. Some fear going back into the closet in care settings.
• Being "different" twice, for example being LGBTQ+ and disabled, or LGBTQ+ in a culture or faith where it's not accepted.

Where to find your people

LGBTQ+ community centers

Many cities and some smaller towns have LGBTQ+ community centers with support groups, social events, youth programs and programs for older adults. CenterLink is a network of more than 350 LGBTQ+ centers, and has a directory to find a center near you (opens in a new tab). Some centers also run virtual groups if there's none nearby.

Young people

The Trevor Project is a U.S. nonprofit for LGBTQ+ young people, free and open 24/7:

• Call 1-866-488-7386
• Text START to 678-678
• Chat at thetrevorproject.org/get-help (opens in a new tab)

It also runs TrevorSpace, an online peer community for LGBTQ+ young people.

School and college clubs, often called GSAs (Gender and Sexuality Alliances) or Pride clubs, can also be a place to find friends. See Teens and pre-teens and Young adults.

Older LGBTQ+ adults

SAGE (sageusa.org (opens in a new tab)) is a U.S. organization for LGBTQ+ elders. It runs virtual programs through SAGEYou, centers in New York, and a national network of partner organizations. Note that SAGE's former national elder hotline closed in 2023. Many local LGBTQ+ centers also have programs for older adults. See also Older adults.

Chosen family

Many LGBTQ+ people build a chosen family: close friends who love and support them like family. Chosen family can be just as real and lasting as family by birth. It often grows from a group you see regularly, such as a sports team, choir, book club or volunteer group. See Making friends as an adult.

Faith and spirituality

If faith matters to you, you don't have to choose between it and who you are. Affirming congregations and groups exist in many traditions, including Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Muslim and others. Some welcome LGBTQ+ people openly; some have LGBTQ+ groups within them. See Religious and spiritual communities.

Online

Online communities can be a lifeline, especially if you live somewhere with no visible community or can't be out at home. Choose moderated spaces and protect your privacy:

• Use a name that doesn't identify you if you need to.
• Don't share your address, school or workplace.
• Be careful meeting anyone in person; meet in public first and tell someone you trust.
• Watch for people who ask for photos, money or secrecy. Leave and block them.

See Friendship apps and online communities and Dating apps.

If your family has rejected you

Rejection from family can feel like the ground giving way. Some things that may help:

• Find at least one accepting adult or friend you can talk to.
• Protect your safety first. If you are being threatened or harmed at home, or might lose your housing, reach out to a crisis line, a trusted adult or an LGBTQ+ center for help.
• Give it time if you can. Some families change over months or years. Some don't. Either way, you can build a full life with people who love you.

See Lonely in a relationship or a family.

If you're struggling

LGBTQ+ people face more stress from rejection and discrimination, and that can take a toll. Many therapists are LGBTQ+ affirming; it's fine to ask a therapist directly about their experience before you start. See Getting help.

If you're thinking about suicide or are in danger, reach out now. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988) is for everyone, and the Trevor Project is there for young people. See Need to talk right now?.