Veterans and military families

Military life builds strong bonds: a unit, a mission, people who have your back. Leaving that behind, or living on the edges of it as a family, can be very lonely. Many veterans say what they miss most is not the job but the people and the sense of purpose.

You earned your place, and you deserve connection after service too.

What can make it lonely

• Leaving the service. You lose your unit, routine, rank and purpose at once. Civilians may not understand what you did or saw.
• Moving often. Military families may move every few years, leaving friends, schools and jobs behind.
• Deployment. For the person deployed and for those at home, months apart can be isolating.
• Being a military spouse or partner. Running a home alone, far from your own family, starting over in each new place.
• Injuries, visible or not. Physical injury, chronic pain, PTSD, brain injury or moral injury can make it harder to be around people.
• Not wanting to burden others, or a culture of "handle it yourself".

Help and support

If you're in crisis

The Veterans Crisis Line is free, confidential and open 24/7 for veterans, service members, National Guard and Reserve members, and the people who support them. You don't have to be enrolled in VA benefits or health care.

• Call 988, then press 1
• Text 838255
• Chat at veteranscrisisline.net (opens in a new tab)

Overseas service members can find regional numbers on the Veterans Crisis Line website.

Vet Centers

Vet Centers are free, community-based counseling centers run by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. They help eligible veterans, service members (including National Guard and Reserve) and their families with the move back to civilian life and after hard experiences, including military sexual trauma. Call the Vet Center Call Center any time at 1-877-927-8387, or find one at vetcenter.va.gov (opens in a new tab).

Military OneSource

Military OneSource (militaryonesource.mil (opens in a new tab)) offers free, confidential support, including non-medical counseling, to service members and their families, and to veterans for up to a year after leaving the service. Call 800-342-9647, any time.

Find your people

Veterans' organizations

Veterans service organizations (VSOs) offer friendship, purpose and practical help. They differ a lot, so try more than one.

• The American Legion (legion.org (opens in a new tab)): local posts across the country, with a "Find a Post" tool on its website.
• Disabled American Veterans (DAV) (dav.org (opens in a new tab)): membership is for veterans injured or made ill during service in a period of armed conflict; its help with VA claims and other services is free, and you don't have to be a member.
• Team Red, White & Blue (Team RWB) (teamrwb.org (opens in a new tab)): local chapters that bring veterans, service members, families and supporters together through fitness and social events.
• Team Rubicon (teamrubiconusa.org (opens in a new tab)): disaster response volunteers, founded by veterans; it says anyone willing to serve can volunteer. Many veterans find the teamwork and mission familiar.
• Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) (vfw.org (opens in a new tab)): local posts for veterans who served in a war, campaign or expedition overseas or in hostile waters.

Other ways to connect

• Reconnect with people you served with. Unit associations, reunions and online groups can help you find them. See Reconnecting with family and old friends.
• Volunteer. Service doesn't have to end when your enlistment does. See Volunteering.
• Use your skills. Coaching, mentoring young people or teaching a skill gives you purpose and a team.
• Faith communities often have veterans' groups or chaplains. See Religious and spiritual communities.

For military spouses, partners and children

• Connect early at each new base or post. Family readiness groups, spouse clubs and base chapels can help you meet people fast.
• Look outside the base too, through work, classes, a congregation or volunteering, so you have roots in the town.
• Keep old friends from past moves with regular calls.
• During deployment, keep a routine, accept offers of help, and find other families going through the same thing.

Military OneSource also offers help for families. See also New in town.

Looking after your mind

Many veterans live with stress injuries such as PTSD, depression or problems with drinking. These are common responses to what military life can involve, not signs of weakness. Talking to someone who understands military life can help. See Getting help, Depression and loneliness and Alcohol, drugs and loneliness.